


est-ce que tu m'aimes?

by thewriterofperfectdisasters



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: (like it HAS been edited but not as a whole? yolo), ??? i guess kinda not really idk lads, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, absolute disasters damen and laurent, v e r y loosely edited it's 3am im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 11:37:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17079611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterofperfectdisasters/pseuds/thewriterofperfectdisasters
Summary: Damen and Laurent had been friends for a while. Years, in fact. Since they were children. Which may have been a contributing factor to how they very much had not, uh, acted on Laurent’s deepest, darkest desires. Damen, of course, had no idea they existed, but that didn’t stop Laurent from blaming him a little.





	est-ce que tu m'aimes?

**Author's Note:**

> HENLO FRIENDS i was going through my fic folder, as ya do, and i found a document entitled "htfh lol" and im like _hmm wot this_ and it turns out, it was code for "hast thou fucked her" which i can't remember where that came from. i started this fic in june. and now thanks to the comic sans lifehack, i finished it like 15 minutes lmaooo.
> 
> anyway. title from the eponymous song by maître gims, bc a) i've been listening to it on repeat for _days_ and b) it's 3am and i can't think of anything better lmao. (and yes i know the song is Not About This but we're running with it ok? ok)

Damen and Laurent had been friends for a while. Years, in fact. Since they were children. Which may have been a contributing factor to how they very much had not, uh, acted on Laurent’s deepest, darkest desires. Damen, of course, had no idea they existed, but that didn’t stop Laurent from blaming him a little.

Laurent _wanted_ Damen. He’d had more dreams about him than he’d care to admit to anyone –including himself – and occasionally daydreamed about what it might be like to come home to Damen cooking him dinner, who would then casually slip a hand around his waist and kiss him on the temple, asking him about his day. Laurent definitely would not admit the shameful times when Damen, half-naked and glistening, slipped into his mind’s eye when it was just him and his hand.

At least _that_ Laurent didn’t have to imagine. Actually, he didn’t have to imagine coming home to him, either, which might’ve been a small perk of living together. Damen regularly walked around either shirtless or just in a towel, still dripping wet from his shower. It did not help Laurent’s case. Nor did him being able to come home, find Damen cooking dinner, and receiving a warm smile, purely for existing and entering the room.

It crushed Laurent that Damen was still going on dates – most with women – but at least he knew the possibility Damen would come home and say _“It didn’t work out”_ was high. It had been happening a lot the last few months, and it felt like his dates were getting few and far between.

However – ‘I have a date tonight,’ Damen announced, sitting next to Laurent on the couch and leaning over to read his book.

Laurent closed the page, marking it with his thumb as he turned to stare at Damen, their faces inches apart. God, it would be so easy to just – ‘What?’

‘Date. Me. Tonight.’

_Date you? Sure._ ‘Nice.’

‘Nice?’ Damen frowned. ‘Why is it nice?’

‘Isn’t it?’

‘Well…’ Damen shrugged. ‘I suppose it is nice, but it’ll probably go the same way as the others all have.’

Laurent nodded slowly, trying not to be too eager for Damen to stay single as long as it took him to work up the nerve to make a move. ‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘We live together?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I thought it would be courteous to let you know in case I bring her home.’

‘Oh.’ Laurent turned back to his book, picking with his thumb at the corner. ‘Do you intend to?’

Laurent watched Damen from the corner of his eye and thought he saw him hesitate for just a moment, his face creasing with… something. ‘I don’t know. Would it bother you if I did?’

Now it was Laurent’s turn to hesitate. He couldn’t say yes, that would bother him. He couldn’t say no, because he just – he couldn’t lie to Damen like that. ‘I don’t know,’ he said instead.

‘Well,’ Damen said after a moment, moving himself to lean against the arm of the couch, his toes tucked under the cushion Laurent was on. ‘I know you don’t really like finding strangers in the apartment.’

The side of Laurent’s mouth lifted in a smile, very much without his permission. ‘Not really, no.’

His smile was echoed on Damen’s face. ‘We’ll see how it goes, I guess.’

Laurent knew he should leave it. He did. He recognised the dismissal of topic in Damen’s voice, but for some reason, he didn’t want to drop it, even if it hurt him. ‘Do you like her?’

‘I guess,’ Damen scratched idly at his arm. ‘She’s nice.’

Laurent shifted minutely in his spot, opening the book again. ‘That’s good.’

‘Is it?’

Laurent sighed, shutting his eyes for a moment. ‘What do you want me to say, Damen?’

‘I don’t know, you’re just – you’re always alone, and I don’t want to…’

‘Don’t want to what?’

‘I don’t want to leave you alone.’

Laurent looked over in surprise. ‘I don’t mind being alone, Damen.’

Something like resignation crossed Damen’s features for a briefest moment. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I’m gonna shower.’

‘Okay,’ Laurent said, turning his attention back to his book. Damen lingered a moment longer, maybe waiting for Laurent to say something more, but there was nothing left that he could say without incriminating himself and ruining his friendship with Damen, so he left it.

Laurent wasn’t timing, but it might’ve been a little longer than usual that Damen took to shower. He wasn’t watching him, but he might’ve noticed that Damen steadfastly ignored him as he walked past. But Laurent wasn’t paying attention so he could’ve been wrong.

‘Hey,’ Damen said a few minutes after walking through the living area. ‘Can I get your opinion on something?’

‘Sure,’ Laurent replied, not looking up from his book.

‘Can you come here?’

Laurent made sure to sigh loudly as he placed his book, pages down, on the couch and went to Damen’s room. He didn’t spend much time in here, really, but every time he walked in, it felt like walking into a hug. A hug from Damen, specifically. Somehow warm, tinged through with his cologne. ‘What?’ he asked, folding himself neatly onto Damen’s bed.

‘What should I wear?’ Damen asked, holding up a couple of shirts.

‘You’re asking me?’

‘Why wouldn’t I?’

Laurent frowned. ‘What are you wearing for pants?’

‘I don’t know, jeans?’

Laurent shut his eyes briefly. ‘No, you’re not, sit down.’

‘What are you – okay,’ Damen said, moving out of Laurent’s way as he approached his closet, sitting on his bed as Laurent had been.

‘Where are you going on this date?’ Laurent asked. ‘Are you meant to be casual? Semi-formal?’

‘I don’t… We’re going to a bar, Laurent.’

‘A bar.’

‘A _nice_ bar.’

Laurent rolled his eyes and turned to the closet again, sorting through. He picked out the pair of black slacks that did great things for Damen’s ass, tossing them at him. ‘Put those on,’ he said, sifting through and finding a simple white button down. He turned, expecting to see Damen putting the pants on, instead –

‘These?’ Damen asked, looking in confusion at the pants.

‘Yes. On.’

Damen raised an eyebrow and stood, watching Laurent suspiciously, but unselfconsciously, as he slipped the slacks on. ‘That shirt?’

‘Yes,’ Laurent handed it over, taking the hanger back. ‘Leave a couple of buttons and roll the sleeves.’

‘Shoes?’

‘Whatever.’

‘Great,’ Damen muttered to himself, approaching the mirror and rearranging his hair a little. ‘Okay. This looks good, right?’

Laurent shrugged, somehow managing to do it far more casually than he felt. ‘You could’ve picked it out yourself.’

‘But then I wouldn’t get to hang out with you.’

Laurent blinked. He didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just didn’t.

Damen was watching him, like he hadn’t meant to say that. After a few moments, he cleared his throat and turned to his shoes. ‘Okay! So, not trainers?’

‘Uh, no.’

‘Great, okay, great,’ Damen muttered, busying himself instead with finding a pair of matching socks.

‘I’ll leave you to it,’ Laurent said, slipping from the room and retreating to his book. There were some things he wanted to deal with, but dressing Damen for a date was not one of those things.

***

Laurent was still awake when Damen got home. This was shocking, not because Laurent stayed up late, but because it was barely ten when he watched Damen slip through the door with a weary sigh, tossing his keys in the bowl beside the door.

‘Good date?’ he asked.

Damen shrugged. ‘Not bad.’

Laurent heard that for what it might’ve been – a _we’re seeing each other again this weekend_ – and tried to play it off casually, like everything else when it came to Damen’s relationships. ‘Ha,’ he laughed, definitely sounding more awkward than anything. ‘Hast thou fucked her?’

Damen gave him an odd look and paused in pulling off the boots he’d settled on earlier. ‘If I’d fucked her, I wouldn’t be back so early.’

Laurent blushed and pursed his lips. That hadn’t gone as well as… anything. Really, what had he expected? ‘I suppose.’

‘How was your evening?’

‘It’s still going,’ he lifted his book.

‘Have you even moved since I left?’

‘I had dinner.’

Damen sat next to Laurent on the couch again, leaning his cheek on his shoulder. ‘I think I’m going to give up dating.’

‘Oh?’ Laurent said, a beat too late.

‘It never works out.’

‘I thought you said you liked her.’

‘I said she was nice.’ Damen paused, tilting his head a little to watch his index finger pick at the skin of his thumb. ‘More of a friend.’

Laurent hummed. ‘Can always do with more friends.’

‘I’m not dating to make friends, Laurent.’

‘Then why are you?’ The question came unbidden and passed through Laurent’s lips before he could stop it. He didn’t want an answer. He half-hoped Damen wouldn’t give one.

Damen was quiet for so long, Laurent thought he’d got his wish. ‘The person I want doesn’t want me back,’ he said softly, before he stood and rubbed his eyes tiredly. ‘I’m going to bed.’

Laurent nodded. ‘Goodnight.’

‘Yeah, night.’

Laurent turned back to his book as Damen disappeared, closing his door softly. Laurent could still hear the _thud_ of Damen throwing his boots into the corner where his shoes piled up, and the sound pulled him out of the pages and into his mind where Damen’s words were now cycling, being dissected and put under the microscope of Laurent’s overly-analytic brain.

What sort of person wouldn’t want to be with Damen? Obviously someone who didn’t see how great he was, both inside and out. Someone blind to his…

Laurent frowned, his brain now pulling up all the little things that Damen did for him. He cooked for him, took care of his needs when he had still been studying. He was considerate of Laurent’s feelings, and he was… affectionate. Laurent didn’t have any other friends that were as touchy with him.

But Damen was just _like_ that, right?

Laurent’s book drooped slowly forward, the pages brushing the point of his chin as he tried to think of Damen being as _intimately_ affectionate with anyone else.

What – was _Laurent_ the person who didn’t want Damen back?

They were basically dating without the… dating bit. Auguste commented on it constantly, and so did most of their friends.

Oh god.

Laurent blinked and put his book slowly down, rising from the couch again and getting up, walking cautiously to Damen’s room. If he’d – if he was _wrong_ , then he was about to entirely fuck this up.

He knocked without realising what he was doing, and it wasn’t until Damen had opened his door, looking out at him with a blank expression that Laurent broke from the weird haze he was in.

‘Yes?’ Damen asked, voice tired.

‘Who?’ Laurent said, moving his eyes up to Damen’s face. ‘Who is it? That you want?’

‘Laurent,’ Damen sighed. ‘You don’t – you don’t need to worry about it.’

‘Who is it?’

‘It’s fine, don’t worry about it.’

‘No, I –’ Laurent stopped himself. _Don’t fuck this up._ ‘You should go after them. You deserve to be happy.’

‘I don’t think they want me,’ Damen murmured. ‘They’ve had plenty of opportunity, but I think they don’t…’

Laurent swallowed, apparently audible enough for Damen to wait, studying him as Laurent prepared his words. ‘If it’s…’ he glanced up to Damen’s eyes before he shifted his gaze decidedly to somewhere over his shoulder. ‘If it’s me, then…’

‘Laurent, I never wanted to –’

‘If it’s me, then you should say something –’

‘I don’t want to make you uncomfortable –’

‘Shut up,’ Laurent said, interrupting Damen’s interruption of his interruption. ‘Let me talk. Please.’

Damen pursed his lips, face falling, and nodded.

‘If it’s me,’ Laurent said quietly, slowly, ‘you need to make it painfully clear, Damen. I know I said earlier I like to be alone, that I’m okay being alone, but that’s only because I thought _you_ were unattainable, and there was no point in me even _trying_ to find someone that wasn’t you, because I –’

‘Oh my god,’ Damen said, letting go of his door to take Laurent’s face, so, so gently, tilting it up just enough to stop Laurent’s mouth with his own. ‘Yes,’ he whispered, ‘of course, it’s you.’

Laurent froze, opening his eyes after seemingly closing them without realising. Damen was so close. ‘Oh,’ he breathed, reaching up tentatively to touch Damen’s fingers on his jaw. ‘I…’

‘What? What are you thinking?’

‘Nothing,’ Laurent smiled, going to his tip-toes to kiss Damen gently. ‘Just happy.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I didn’t fuck this up.’

**Author's Note:**

> u can now find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/daamiaanos) as well as [tumblr](http://damiaanos.tumblr.com/)! (tho, fair warning, i am constantly yelling on twitter. it's a good time.)


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